Before marriage a word mother in law creates a fear in heart. People use to say before marriage mother in law’s horoscope should be matched with daughter in law as it helps to know whether it will be a healthy relationship between them or not.
In today’s changing time even mother in-laws also fear with the word daughter inlaw. They think earlier their mother in-laws treated us badly , likewise daughter in-law is coming to tease us. They think today’s generation is very smart & selfish. Before marriage daughter In law was happy in her life., whereas mother in law also welcomes daughter in law with full joy & happiness. But the moment daughter in law enters in home their fight starts & whole home goes through a tense atmosphere.
When both of them knows they have to live together & both have a same purpose of keeping peace & family & enhancing joy & happiness then why this fight happens between them. There are some points to be taken care of –
1) Conservative Traditions – Our conservative traditions of earlier times play a biggest role in these fights & mutual conflicts. Whenever any small issue happens between both of them , it is always seen as old conservative tradition , that mother in-laws are like this only, that’s why this all happened. On the other hand mother inlaw also thinks that afterall she is not a daughter who will think of her in-Laws interest. The biggest worse aspect of this is that because of these conservative traditions we use to believe firmly that things will happen as earlier only but time has changed now no body is perfect. All have good & bad qualities as well. So both should come out of this meaningless myth & have a good attitude towards each other.
2) Increased Awareness- In today’s time Girls are educated & have their own identity. Her thinking is mature. Her meaning of being educated is she is aware which means she has the facts to state anything wrong or right. Today’s educated daughter in-laws are not dull like they use to be in earlier times . They have a clear way of thinking & they know well the importance of their views. They have the ability to say if any unfair thing happens & to stand for themselves. Girls as a daughter in-laws expect their in-laws to adjust as well with her ..
3) Give time to grow a relation- Every family has its own way of living . When marriage happens a new member enters in a family. As a daughter in law a girl has a new point of views. When new thinking clashes with the old thinking that there is a possibility of disputes & mutual conflicts . From both of them one always thinks to be pressurized by other. To solve this problem time should be given to grow a relation. For instance, when we plant a seed it takes time to grow slowly slowly with a passage of time it grew & becomes a tree. Likewise a girl is also like a plant that is being grown in other family . It takes a lot of time for her to adjust & make herself part of a family & there the love & support of inlaws plays an important role.
4) Be generous- To make a relation strong & good both a daughter in law as well as mother in law should treat each other with generosity. They should ignore little things. The more flexible the behaviour will be the less will be the problems .
5) See every relation by personal aspects- while making a relation every relation should be seen through personal aspects. Both mother in law & daughter in law should not see that how are their relations with other family members. Rather they both should think they have to make separate relations in personal perspectives. One relation should not be mixed with the other.
6) Father inlaw or son should not play the role of a judge- whenever any issue happens between daughter in law & mother in law son or father in law should not interfere in it . They should not come in between & support or appose any of them rather should always try to make them understand what effect will it leave on family .. It’s a fact any issue if happens it should be solved by daughter in law & mother in law itself.
7) Accept the changing roles- whether daughter in law or mother in law are housewife & working should work within their limits. In this way problem never arises. If set of rules are made in starting only than any worse situation never arises.
Mother in law should understand that after marriage his son’s role changes.He becomes husband as well as with son & will become father also. Today she is not only a mother but a mother in law as well. Likewise a daughter in law should also know that now she has become daughter in law . Mother in law should remember that she was also a daughter in-law earlier & think what would be things at that time that she felt a lot . When she forgets her time of being a daughter in law & stands as a mother in law not a mother in front of her daughter in law, there the problems start arising between them.
In this way there will be less problems , no mutual conflicts will be there, both will be able to understand each other & will respect each other point of view.. which will help to build a healthy relationship between a mother & daughter In law which will define a ” SaaS-Bahu relation” in a new & positive way in our society.
These are my personal views. Let me know how is it . Will be waiting for your views.